


Tell Me How You Feel

by TwoBiscuits



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: 221B Ficlet, Ficlet, First Kiss, John Watson Loves Sherlock Holmes, Late Night Conversations, Love Confessions, M/M, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock Fluff, Sherlock Holmes Has Feelings, Sherlock Holmes Loves John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:08:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23636572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoBiscuits/pseuds/TwoBiscuits
Summary: John tells Sherlock he loves him for the first time.Sherlock reacts in a very Sherlock way.
Relationships: Sherlock - Relationship, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 17
Kudos: 289





	Tell Me How You Feel

**Author's Note:**

> First fic on here! Not sure how much I'll actually post, just thought I'd share with you all.
> 
> All suggestions/constructive criticisms are welcome!

“Has it ever occurred to you,” John began one quiet night, Rosie perched on his hip and sound asleep as he sat in his chair. Sherlock sat across from him, hands clasped in front of his face, eyebrows furrowed, obviously thinking about something; God knew what.

“Mhm,” Sherlock agreed with a nod, not listening.

“I... wasn’t finished.”

He blinked, his attention shifting to John. “Oh- sorry. You were saying?”

John sighed, lips pursed. He had gotten his attention now, no point in backing out. “Has it ever occurred to you that we are raising a child together?”

“Of course it has,” Sherlock replied without missing a beat, hands unfolding and resting on the arms of his chair, drumming a steady beat.

“Of course it has,” John agreed with a curt nod. “Right.”

“Right… is that all?” Sherlock asked, attention already shifting away from him.

“No. You know… people are going to talk.”

“Yes. People tend to do that.”

“...right. Yeah. They do.”

“Always have.”

“Always will. Sherlock, that’s not my point.”

“Then get on with it.”

“I don’t-” He paused, gaze shifting to the ceiling. Sherlock looked too. “I don’t mind them talking.”

“No, me neither. Is that your point?”

“No! Sherlock-... no. That’s not my point.”

“Then get on with it!”

“I’m trying!”

Rosie stirred and they both shut up. John rocked her back to sleep before clamping his eyes shut and speaking again, his voice considerably softer than before. “Sherlock… I’m... I- it’s sort of complicated and... I’ve been thinking about it for a long while and..” he stumbled around his words like a drunkard trying to stick to a straight path.

Sherlock waited, his leg bouncing. He’d much rather John get along with whatever he was trying to say before he said it for him. Whatever it was. “Yes?”

He opened his eyes again, meeting Sherlock’s gaze. Despite his eyes being on him, he could tell his mind was somewhere else. “I’m just going to say it.”

“Please do. It’ll be much quicker for both of us.”

He let out a sound that was some mix between a laugh and a huff of annoyance. “Sherlock.”

“Yes?”

“Are you listening to me?”

“Yes.”

“No, I mean, are you actually listening to me? Do I have your full attention right now?”

“Yes, you do.” His whole composure seemed to soften, his attention laser-focusing on John. “Of course you do…”

John blinked at that. He cleared his throat. “Right.” He cleared his throat again. “Sherlock, I… I love you. Have for a while, actually.”

Sherlock was frozen. A hardy flick on the forehead would send him slumping into his chair, no doubt. He stared at John, a mix of confusion, disbelief, and utter shock folding deep lines on his face. John wanted to smooth them out with his fingers.

“Did you hear me?”

No response.

“I don’t even expect… anything from you, really. Nothing at all. Just thought you’d like to know. Surprised you didn’t figure it out already, honestly.”

Sherlock blinked, not a word falling from his lips. John could just kiss those lips. He would if Sherlock wasn’t sitting so far away.

“Right. That’s... Unsettling, actually. I’m taking Rosie to bed... I’ll be off myself too. Good night, Sherlock.”

Still not a word. John nodded once, stood, and turned to take Rosie to bed. He was almost out of the room when Sherlock finally piped up. “John.”

“Yeah?” He turned back around.

Sherlock looked at him from his chair, hands drumming more anxiously than before. “You mean that?”

“...of course I do… Of course I do... I’ve told you that before, haven’t I? Don’t know why it’s gotten you so… I don’t know. Frozen. Haven’t I told you that before?”

“Platonically.”

“Ah- right. Yes. Well… that wasn’t-”

“I know.”

“Right. I’m going to bed.”

“Yes.”

“You don’t have to dwell over it.” He left before Sherlock could respond. How could he even respond? Was it even possible to respond to something such as that?

John entered the room a moment later in a striped robe.

“I thought you were going to bed?” Sherlock questioned without looking at him. Both hands and a leg were drumming now. Hoo boy.

“Changed my mind,” he replied with a shrug.

“Changed your mind?”

“Yes, well. I thought we could maybe talk for a bit.”

“Talk. Yes. To whom?”

“Eachother…?”

“...oh. Right. Of course. About what?”

“Anything.” He came and sat down, leaning his elbows on his knees, hands clasped.

And, for what seemed like hours but in reality was no more than about five minutes, they sat in silence.

“...John,” Sherlock said finally, hardly breaking the silence.

“Yeah?”

“You really mean it.”

“Yeah. Yes. I do.”

“But... Mary?”

A frown twitched at his lips. “Is dead. Has been for… almost two years now. And… she knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That I loved you.”

He was stunned into silence once again. John sighed, rubbing his eyes, then his temples. Sherlock watched him. “...That long?”

“What? Oh. Yeah. Yes. That long.”

“You loved her.”

“Of course I did.” He laughed quietly. “I still do. But… you know… she is actually dead.”

“Yes.”

“So…”

“So… you love me.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Pardon?”

“Why..? How?”

“You’ve been my best friend for… years, actually. Saved my life several times in several different ways. You’re... Intelligent and clever.. The smartest man I’ve ever met. And… I watched you become human. I got to watch you do things, feel things that you’ve never done before. That neither of us had done before. And I know there’s Molly-”

“No.”

“What?”

“Not Molly.”

“Oh… and Irene-”

“Wrong again.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Oh… huh. Well, anyway-”

“I love you too.”

“What?”

“I love you too, John. Isn’t that how you’re supposed to respond to that sort of thing? Saying it back?”

“Well… yeah, that’s probably the best possible outcome. Really?”

“Yes. From the moment we met, I knew I did. Or was going to, anyway. Wasn’t really all that attached to feelings at that time.” They both laughed a little before sinking into silence once again.

“Sherlock…”

“Yes, John?”

“Stand up.”

“Why-”

“Just stand up.”

Sherlock stood. John did too. Before Sherlock could say a word John had pulled him into a hug. Sherlock hugged him back after only a moment of hesitation, his heart racing. Was this actually happening? Was this just another fantasy of his? He had gotten quite lost in his thoughts, he wouldn’t be surprised if he snapped out of it any second.

“I love you… okay?” John said finally, not moving his head from Sherlock’s chest.

“Okay.” a small smile curled on his lips. “I love you too.”

“I’d like to kiss you now, if you’d let me.”

“...why wouldn’t I?”

“ ‘Cause you’re not telling me how you feel…”

“I did, didn’t I? I said I loved you.”

John looked up at him with a soft smile. “Yes… yes, you did.” And he stood on his toes and kissed him.


End file.
